Jasper would be 5 today. We are headed to a WIC celebration this morning that is for Breastfeeding Awareness week and then this afternoon we will do our annual baking of dirt and gummy worm cupcakes for our little boy's birthday and sing to him. I had a dream this year about Jasper. It was really great. I didn't tell anyone about it because it was so special to me. But I though in honor of his birthday I would share it here. I wish I could have it again and when Robert read my journal entry he wished he could experience the dream too. I believe the dream is a beautiful picture of redemption. The Lord even redeems death. And salvation IS redemption from death! One day Jasper's broken body will be whole. One day we will hold him again.
A journal entry from this year: April 8, 2015 I had a dream about Jasper last night. It’s the first I’ve ever had. I’ve often prayed to dream of him but never have in 4 ½ years. But last night…. He was dead but we still had access to his body. His body looked the same as it did right after his birth. Broken and ugly but so similar to his older brother Cal, if he had lived. I went to see his body and hold it. His body still felt scary. One of the scariest parts of the experience was how his body felt in my arms. Boneless and empty. I held him wrapped in the same blanket. But something changed, a miracle happened. Slowly, bit by bit, his bonelessness and empitness changed to solid and full. He slowly started to feel alive. I sat holding him, marveling at the change, relieved that the scary part was disappearing being replaced with life. After a short time he opened his eyes and was a whole living beautiful baby. He then started to grow. Again slowly but within a few minutes he was the age he would be today if he hadn’t died. He was 4 ½ years old and he didn’t look exactly like Cal, like I had always pictured. He looked like Cal but was smaller like Deakin, with shorter, straighter hair like Deakin. And he hopped off my lap and we left the room. We went home and I took all the kids to church. I kept watching him running and playing with his siblings as if he always had. They acted like it was no big deal that their baby brother came back to life and was now a part of our earthly family. I kept thinking that I would have to prepare to have 7 children when this baby was born instead of 6. Everyone we ran into at church I kept pointing at him and saying, “Do you know who that is?” And they would look at Jasper and study him and realize he wasn’t one of my normal clan and shake their heads and I would reply, “That’s Jasper. The Lord brought him back to life.” And they would look at me in shock. For some reason my sister was there with her boys and I told her. And then we finally found Daddy, I got to tell him that our son was alive. And I kept looking at him and wondering if he would get to stay with us for a long time or a short while or just for today? I realized, I ask the same thing about my living children often in real life. And then I woke up.
8 Comments
Tori
7/31/2015 12:14:24 am
What a beautiful dream- thank you for sharing. Happy birthday, Jasper! I always think of you on this day, Lindsey. All our love goes out to you and your family!!
Reply
Andrea
7/31/2015 03:04:44 am
Linds- What a glorious dream! I cannot wait to meet Jasper in heaven! I love you so very much! May today bring peace and joy as you celebrate precious Jasper!
Reply
Aunt Wee
7/31/2015 05:10:54 am
Thank you for sharing that! I'm so glad we were there in the dream!
Reply
Anita
7/31/2015 05:20:33 am
What a great gift from God! Love you!
Reply
Christy
8/1/2015 02:05:19 pm
Thank you for sharing, such a beautiful dream and what a gift the Lord gave you!! I have loved when the Lord has given me a glimpse of Jordyn through dreams. Praying the day was as gentle as possible and love that you guys make dirt cake to celebrate!!
Reply
Mom
8/2/2015 03:39:11 pm
So thankful God blessed you and answered your heart of grieve with a dream of Joy. I often think of Jasper and try to see him whole and with us. It will always hurt to think of our loss.
Reply
karen
8/3/2015 04:44:56 am
Beautiful dream! I think of him often what a joy it will be to see him again one day!!
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
LindseyI'm the mama and wife. Updating you on our life! Archives
January 2022
Categories
All
|