This is a picture of my reusable shopping bags.(not all of them) I can tell you where each came from. Three came from my sweet friend, Andrea. One came from my sister-in-law. A couple came from the hospital where I had Jasper. And all the rest I accumulated over the years from Doula functions and breastfeeding awareness, and other such things. They are a real group of chaos. The other day I was leaving the commissary pushing my cart to the van (the kids were in Mother's Day out, so my mind was wondering) and I was thinking about how I wished that I had a pack of the cool, matching shopping bags from Earthfare. There is a really neat pack of three for sale there, they all fold up nicely into one little pack and are just really cool. And in that moment, as I've been trying to make a habit of lately, I asked myself, "What would be my motive for wanting matching, cool reusable shopping bags?" And answering honestly, just because they are cool and look nice. They don't work any better! And then I found myself thinking, "What a waste of money that would be!!" There are people all around that can't afford groceries or medical care, and I'm thinking about how I wish I had cooler bags to put all the stuff I buy in?! How absurd and self-centered.
My thought process of asking myself about my motives came a couple years ago when I read Shepharding Your Child's Heart. The main thing I took away from this book was finding the correct motive in disciplining and parenting our children. He argued that we focus far too much on changing behavior, when our goal should be to change our child's heart! In changing their heart's motives, their behavior will follow. So I started asking myself what my motive was in correcting my child's behavior. Was I angry at my child for embarassing me? Was I annoyed by my child? If so, these are self-centered reasons to discipline. Is my child being put into a dangerous circumstance? Is she being disrespectful to her sibling with her behavior? If so, my goal in disciplining becomes one of bettering my child's life! Helping them form the priorities in their heart so that they can serve God better as they grow! This is key! And more recently Robert and I are going to a homegroup on marriage called What Did You Expect? It's about a book written by Paul David Tripp. I recommend this book to everyone!!! I ordered a couple of copies of the book and intend to give them to newly weds, but it can also be helpful to oldly weds too! ; ) He addresses motives as well. There is way too much that I took away from this study to get into it right now. But here is his definition of Love (according to Christ): "Willing self sacrifice for the good of another that doesn't demand reciprication or being diserving". In other words my husband will NEVER deserve my love or anything else I do for him, and I shouldn't expect him to pay me back for my love. Christ gives to us freely, we should do the same. Just as we don't deserve anything the Lord has blessed us with. In marriage it's really easy to gain the motive of getting what I want! "I'll get up with the kids this Saturday morning and let him sleep in, and maybe he will do the same for me next Saturday." No. "I will get up with the kids this Saturday morning and let him sleep in." Period. True servanthood. And if each spouse is taking this motive (of serving Christ and others instead of ourselves) then the marriage flourishes and grows! So I find myself asking, "Why am I cooking dinner for my family (when all I really want to do is go to bed)?" Because I am serving God by serving my family. That is the correct motive. At times my motives have been more along the lines of, "Well, I'll serve the family dinner so that Robert will see that I do the right thing!! And then he will feel guilty for not helping!" (martyr) or "I'll serve dinner for my family so that Robert will brag about my cooking to friends!" (pride) or "I'll serve dinner because no one else will and it has to be done." (bad attitude all together) or "I WON'T serve dinner! Let him deal with it when he gets home from work!!!" The Bible says to do all that we do as if serving the Lord. I believe this means EVERYTHING! Not just not sinning. Romas 14:6 says, "He who regards one day as special, does so to the Lord, He who eats meat, eats to the Lord, for he gives thanks to God; and he who abstains, does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God." What this verse is saying, is that none of these particular subjects are sinful in nature, but each person may feel lead differently. What matters is motive!!! Why are you abstaining from meat? Is it for the Lord? Then Praise God!! And no one should judge you! (Sorry....I'll talk to my hubs about this! Because, yes, he struggles with judging people that don't eat meat! HA! Just kidding....sorta) Do you uphold one day as holier than others? Why? For the Lord? Then great! I'm happy for you, even if I don't do the same. Everything is about motives! When we make a choice, whether large or small, let's ask ourselves what our motive is behind the choice.
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LindseyI'm the mama and wife. Updating you on our life! Archives
January 2022
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