I've found that I differ a lot from some friends on this subject. Which is fine, but it is one of the things in parenting I am most passionate about. Surprisingly, it's way up on the list, next to breastfeeding, discipline, and homebirthing. So since it is important to us and something I think we have read a lot about and experienced a few different child temperments about, I thought I would share our views! ; )
First, our children have bedtimes and naptimes. I recently was reading on one of my favorite blogs. This mom that I really like and discovered that this is one thing that I disagree with her on. Still really enjoy reading her stuff and wish I knew her in real life! Anyway, she stated that her and her husband trust their child's own instincts on when she needs to sleep. In our home, we do not. I've been around children far too long to know that kids do not listen to their bodies when they are sleepy all the time. In fact, some of them down right ignore their body! Why? I don't know. But it's a strong conviction for us to teach our children how to listen to their body and to help them develope the strongest immune system and best brain development by getting enough quality sleep. With this goal, comes the bedtime and naptime. Our general rule of thumb is that if our children are falling asleep in the carseat, they aren't getting enough sleep in their bed. Not to say that never happens. In fact, all bets are off for the first four to six months of life. But after that, it is my goal to work around my child's sleeping schedule. I've read alot of both sides of the argument and just can not buy that a child is "just fine" with only 8 hours of sleep in a 24 hour time period. I believe they may act just fine, but they are not fine, physically or emotionally. And, yes, I have had a child that thought that is about all the sleep she needed! : ) Darby was super easy, has always loved sleep. Bryse on the other hand, if I let her lead, would pass out around 11pm every night and NEVER take a nap. And that would've started around the time she was born! Seriously, she thought she needed no sleep at all! And acted fine if she didn't get any! BUT, having been the parent and applying some guidance, she has always slept atleast 12 hours at night and a couple hour nap a day until recently, when she started napping only a few times a week. But she still has naptime. Her body needs the rest even if she is not going to sleep during the rest. Also, I can't stress how wonderful it is to have alone time with my husband every night. It's priceless! Second, we don't do the family bed. I'm not against a family bed for any major reasons, like "safety" or anything like that! I think it's awesome for some families! Robert and I just don't prefer it. While I adore my kids and watching them sleep is da bomb!!! I don't sleep well when they are in bed with me. However, out of necessity, sacrifice, and instinct, we do cosleep for the first 3-4 months almost 100% of the time. After that point it slowly tapers off until the baby stops nursing at night (about one year old). I feel that co-sleeping during that time can be helpful and is even necessary for some babies. Also, not co-sleeping with our older children is not something we are horribly against. About every other night my 3 year old, Bryse, walks into our room, cuddles up to me for 4 or 5 minutes, and then says, "I'm ready to go back to bed, mom!" And i take her back to bed. That doesn't bother me a bit. And when our children are scared or sick we spend more time with them at night, either in their bed or our's. It's just not something we concentrate on a lot. Third, we teach our children, slowly, how to put themselves to sleep on their own. This is a big regret I have with Darby. We let her cry it out. While it was effective and quick, I just knew there had to be a better way to teach my child how to put themselves to sleep. So I read more on it and developed my own meshed version of several different ways mixed with instincts of what the particular child is like. I liked it alot better with Bryse and Cal! ; ) All bets are off for the first several months while breastfeeding is getting established and there is too much baby love to put that baby down!! But after a handful of months I slowly do what I would call fussing it out. I wait for my baby's cues that he's tired, do alittle routine, lay him down and then leave. Usually, if timed right, maybe a few minutes of fussing will proceed. But then they fall off to sleep. If my baby ever starts crying I run back in, cuddle, cuddle, cuddle (maybe even nurse, if needed) in the dark quiet room, and then lay back down. This a longer more drawn out way to teach my baby how to put themselves to sleep as compared to crying it out, but I just have more of a peace about it. Like, I said, Bryse was my non sleeper, this took about two months of gently helping her. With Cal, maybe two weeks. If even that. So every baby is different and I think those first few months of constant cuddling help you to know your baby and know what they need. On a side note. Night nursing: I have learned that I do not care when my baby stops nursing at night! HA! With Darby I was so proud that she stopped at 3months. But since then, I just could care less! Bryse went till 9 months, and Cal went to 11 months. And I just looooove those night nursings when they are that old! Because they are still and cuddly and half asleep. I just charish those moments! I wouldn't trade them for anything. Just thinking about them gets me all emotional and cuddly feeling!! : )
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LindseyI'm the mama and wife. Updating you on our life! Archives
January 2022
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