You can ask my husband. I say waaay too often, "It all comes back to parenting." I say this for everything. Truly, I believe that all our problems come back to a need in our heart for salvation through Jesus Christ. But after that?! IT ALL COMES BACK TO PARENTING! So here is my thoughts on one of my big lessons my kids hear all the time.
"Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble." 1 Peter 3:8 "To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some." 1 Corinthians 9:22 The bible says we should care for the weak. I know as adults we think of this as giving to the poor, caring for children and orphans, homeless, handicapped, etc. But what does this mean for our children? Who is weaker than my four year old? (Well, actually I have a four year old made of nails, so that might be a bad example! Ha!) When Darby was a toddler and I took her to the park I quickly developed a pet peeve for the older kids. And I mean ALL older kids. I NEVER saw an older kid at the park that wouldn't happily run over a two year old in a goal of going down the slide first. Without looking back, without saying sorry, in fact, I don't even know if the big kids even saw the toddlers! And good luck teaching your 18 month or 2 year old to stand up for themselves against big kids! Even my tough and nails four year old wouldn't stand up to a 7 year old that shoved passed her and say, "HEY! Watch yourself!" I mean, it's easy to teach them to stand up for themselves against other children their age, but they have an awe and respect for these big kids! So I spent a good while being angry at the kids, and then I pulled out my faithful, "It all comes back to parenting!" mantra and started seething against the moms and dads of these kids. To this day I can honestly say I don't ever remember going to the park and seeing a nice older kid. We just tried to go during the school day and stay on the smaller stuff so as to keep Darby safer. I spent a good long while being angry and then was given the conviction to creat in my child that big kid that IS nice. Everytime she would be rolled over by a big kid I would talk to her about it. "Wow! That was really rude. Big kids should take care of little kids, not shove them out of the way." And as she got older I would try to put her in circumstances where she could practice being the nice bigger kid. For instance, when she was four, going to play near an 18 month old. Allowing the 18 month old to go first down the slide. Climbing the stairs slowly behind the toddler so that you don't throw them off balance! Darby was exceptional at this because she is naturally sooo deeply compassionate! And I was so proud of her! Now I'm teaching the same thing to her little sister, Nail Girl, or Fighter Girl, if you ask her! She's harder to learn the lesson because she is less compassionate. But isn't this SO important for us to teach our children?! Isn't this a horrible trend in our country? These bully big kids who think of nothing but themselves getting to the slide first grow up to be bully adults who think of nothing but their own gain, their own wealth, and their own success! It's not cute! Even when they are 4 or 5! "Oh!! Honey, look at Junior! He's a regular steam roller, can't stop him!" Wanna bet?! He can and must be stopped! It's not cute and it's not okay to ignore as a parent either. I honestly, don't think these kids are trying to be mean! I think they don't SEE these little kids (most of them anyway). We have to teach them to look and see the weaker ones around them. Sometimes all it takes is saying, "Woah!!! Junior! Stop! Look in front of you! There is a little girl there, slow down and wait your turn." When I have said this to my kids they glance down and look shocked, as if they didn't even realise! They just needed it pointed out to them. And my kids will tell you they hear, "Take care of those that are weaker than you." VERY often! Kids gotta hear these things a lot before they remember sometimes. I'm not sharing this because I have any friends' kids in mind. My husband took Darby to six flags with her school for their end of the year field trip and he was telling me how awful the teenagers were there. Just running over the elementary aged kids. (There's always a bigger kid to run you over isn't there?) It reminded me of those days at the park, seeing my first born little toddler being run over by five year olds. Parents, PLEASE do your job and parent! Please, help us raise nice, compassionate adults! Don't sit on a bench ignoring your kid running over the little ones assuming it's "just a phase", because it isn't!
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LindseyI'm the mama and wife. Updating you on our life! Archives
January 2022
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