I never gave a whole lot of thought to learning how to be a lady according to God's definition until my girls started getting older. I started looking at myself and asking, "Do I want my girls to behave like me? Am I displaying how a woman of God is called to act?" And the answer was no, of course not. If the world thinks I'm cool and my friends think I'm fun and men think I'm attractive (not that any of those apply to me, just that they are the average goal for a woman) but I refuse to put on the holiness that has been given to me through Christ(Ephesians 4:22-24) then I've failed. But by the power of the Holy Spirit, I can change into a Godly woman! I can have grace for the days I fail and strength to start again the next day. Also, I wanted to look at how being a biblical woman effects all parts of a life. Not just how I would treat my husband but my children, friends, authority figures, and strangers. How should I treat my friend's husband? How should I treat my life long guy friends? These answers aren't always instinctual. So I started studying this topic. I skimmed some books but mainly fished through the Word to see what the Lord says about it. So I thought I would jot it out.
"Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled." Titus 2:3-5 This is instruction to older women in the body of Christ. Telling them how they should act: be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, or slaves to wine. Some of that instruction is easy. Don't be a slave to wine? That is easy to understand. But I think in our world the word reverent has been misplaced and forgotten. I looked up the definition. reverent- feeling or showing deep and solemn respect Showing reverence is hard. I mean, if you are reaching for the goal of being reverent it's hard. If you are fearing the Lord and seeking His righteousness reverence comes easily. I mean, who, with the full knowledge of how holy and powerful God is and how sinful and unholy I am, can resist being reverent? In some translations it actually says "grave" instead of reverent. When I think of this definition and how it might look on a woman of God I think of a woman who listens intently to a friend's concerns. Who instructs her children with a calm but "I mean business" voice. Who looks at and talks to her husband with the full knowledge of the lofty calling God has put on him and is constantly planning ways to support him in it. I think of the woman who washed Jesus' feet with her hair. slander- a statement damaging a person's reputation Slander goes hand in hand with gossip. Slander doesn't have to be a lie it can just be a statement said with the purpose to making someone else look bad while making you look good. I am CONSTANTLY checking the things I want to say to make sure that my heart doesn't have the motive of slander. When you struggle with pride, as I do, slander is so easy to fall into. The Bible says that older women, who are worthy of teaching, conduct themselves without being slanderers. Now that I've dissected what an older woman should act like, what do they teach? What is good, teaching younger ladies to love their husbands and children, be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind and submissive to their own husbands. And then the last part of the scripture says so that the word of God will not be reviled. What does that mean? This type of living proves the Gospel, it makes it attractive! We are adorning the Gospel beautifully when we behave this way! Looking at specific things that need to be taught, let's dig into loving our husbands and children. This means that an older woman should be teaching a younger woman to do less complaining about her husband and children and more loving! Showing them how to love their family. Self-controlled, pure... pure- not mixed with any other substance It takes a large amount of self-control to be pure, doesn't it? Especially in our world. In Kansas you have to name your homeschool so that it can be filed as a private school. I named our's Nehemiah's Work of Excellence because I was reading in Nehemiah one day and a scripture jumped out at me. It was, weirdly, the scripture that finally shoved me over the edge and made me obey the calling to homeschool. In Nehemiah 4 it talks about how the men worked on rebuilding the wall with tools in one hand and swords and spears in another hand so that if anyone attacked them while they were working they would be ready to fight! Through the story the Lord showed me that teaching my children the word of God is so important that I have to do it day and night as the builders did. That I have to be on guard and ready to fight anyone who wants to distract me or pull me away from the work! That teaching my children the word of God and his commands and His nature is like a wall that will protect them from the schemes of the enemy and the worldliness surrounding them! And building up that wall is the only way to prepare them to go out into the world and share the gospel! It is the only way to help them to stay pure, set apart, "not mixed with other substances." That wall is their shield of protection! Their key to staying pure. Working at home. This is a controversial topic isn't it? I've actually got a blog on this saved that I haven't posted yet. It's been sitting there for months now waiting. Anyway, notice this doesn't say only working at home, but says working at home. The Bible is totally clear that a woman's priority should be her home and her family. So if you are a woman who works outside of the home 60-80 hours a week and your job consistently comes before your family, you are living in sin. If you are a stay at home mom that volunteers so much time outside of your home that you kids are unruly and your husband is lonely, then you are living in sin. If you are a mom that works to help provide for your family but would drop any career centered activity in a heartbeat to better run your home, support your husband, or nurture your child, then yeay for you!! : ) We first work at home. When I think of this topic it is soooo easy for worldy wisdom to pop into my head. But the Bible is clear and our wisdom should come from there. Kind and submissive to your husband. Kindness is easy, right? I mean, it's easy to understand, not always easy to follow through with. But it is a fruit of the spirit. Believers display this characteristic. submissive- meekly obedient or passive I've had a lot of practice at this since Robert got home. I spent most of the deployment praying and studying in the Word and elsewhere how to be a better, more godly wife to Robert. When he got back I got to put the new knowledge to work. ; ) Robert noticed a difference and let's just say we find ourselves much happier and cuddly without that annoying "drip, drip, dripping" (Proverbs 27:15) of a quarrelsome wife around. Meekly obedient does NOT mean that I don't share my opinion or give input. I do, as Robert desperately wants me to! I'm far too smart to allow him to make a horrible mistake! Hee hee! But what it does mean, is that I wait for the right timing, I pray a lot for the right words and for a humble, honoring spirit, and then I voice my concern. All the while putting my faith in the Lord and Robert to ultimately choose the right thing. It means, I don't throw a hissy fit when he disagrees with me. (Well, not all the time. I'm not totally perfect, ya know!) And since I love the Gospel and try to preach it to myself all the time, I remember that when I DO screw up and become more quarrelsome grace covers me. I don't have anything to earn that hasn't already been given to me freely. And it just gives Robert a wonderful excuse to display grace toward me on those hard days, which only further glorifies God!
1 Comment
Dana
7/7/2013 05:02:36 pm
Thank you for posting this, it was very in enlightening and inspiring! I know I have a lot of work to do to even resemble a Godly woman, wife, and soon to be a new mother. I definitely look up to you because you are a great example of all three.
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