When I had 3 children I had my junk together! I was on top of it, totally in control, and very impressed with myself over all. I had weaknesses, to be sure, but they weren't very big and I was pretty self reliant, independent. The world finds this lovely, but God does not. Independence and self reliance are the opposite of what God wants from us. He wants us broken, needy, and clinging to him. The Gospel is this! You have NO hope of saving yourself with any of your deeds. You must run to Christ for his work on the cross for your only hope. Once you are resting under the cross and Jesus' deeds then, and only then will you find strength. Then God calls you to be strong, because He knows your strength is from Him and not you. There are far too many verses that teach this. Far too many stories that show this. Read your bible, it's everywhere! "For I satisfy the weary ones and refresh everyone who languishes." Jeremiah 31:25 "He gives strength to the weary, and to him who lacks might He gives power." Isaiah 49:20 "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." Psalm 51:17 After Jasper died it stripped me of any dependence on myself. I couldn't do simple stuff without falling a part. I'm so thankful the Lord did this to me. It caused me to run to Him for strength instead of digging around inside of myself. Then He gifted me with Wild Man, another strike against my abilities. Then the Lord called me to homeschool, something He knew very well I could NOT do without Him. Then He gave me two more children and a broken husband for a couple of years. God does NOT look around the world for who is strongest to send trials to because He knows they can "handle it". He know's His children's hearts, He knows who thinks they don't need help and He fixes that right up. Be strong in the Lord, friends. Do NOT be strong in yourself. You are a dead end. God is infinite. In the morning when I wake, I count off all the things I am incapable of doing without the Lord. And then I beg for help from Him who gives freely and without reproach (James 1:5). Starting with cooking breakfast. I'm not smart enough to teach my children. I have no patience to discipline them in love. My memory fails me in all the things that need to be done. I don't have the energy to serve all day. My life is FULL to the brim of "can'ts". I throw them to the Lord and then wait for Him to pour the grace over me that will enable me to the do all the things I can't. And He does. If He calls you to something, He is faithful to give you what you need to be faithful in that task. For His glory, not your's, because He made you able. Last week I screwed up big time (I will share about that next time). I plummeted down into despair for several days. Just so angry with myself for my inabilities. And then I reminded myself of the Gospel. That I can't put my hope in myself. If my hope is in the Lord, then my failures won't destroy me because they will just point me to the Lord and His grace. I don't have to have my junk together. Because my hope is not in me. "My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness. I dare not trust the sweetest frame but wholly lean of Jesus' name. On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand. All other ground is sinking sand." Hmmm....how ironic is it that I have a Wild Man under my roof that sings that song at the top of his lungs several times a day?? In other news: My Hurricane turns 9 today!! We spent a whole morning at the seminary and ate lunch at the cafeteria (which is what she wanted to do). I cooked blueberry muffins for breakfast and taco salad for dinner, at her request. And instead of a cake we made rice crispy treats and brownies. But no candles or singing because she says she's too old for that now. Sigh.
6 Comments
Nannie
2/11/2016 03:57:07 pm
Everyone is really growing. I mailed Lucius's quilt and some clothes today. Tell Bryse happy birthday. I didn't forget it. I just haven't bought any cards.Love everyone and can't wait to see you.
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Anita
2/11/2016 05:19:07 pm
I love you!!! Happy birthday baby!!
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Christina F.
2/12/2016 04:25:15 am
Amen and amen!!!! Love the bird dissection :-)
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Dana Anderson
2/13/2016 01:44:51 pm
Thank you, thank you for this blog. I felt like you were talking to me... I cannot imagine the grief you went through with the loss of Jasper but I can relate to feeling like I had it all together, on top of it all and then in an instant it can all change. Whether it's a loss or a gain or both, God is calling us to rely on Him and to trust in Him. It was so hard for me to rely on others but after three miscarriages I've learned that I am not in control, I need Him, I need to give others a chance to serve by serving my family through grief, and I that I cannot be independent and be subject to His will, all at the same time. Thank you for that reminder and the scriptures. Your family is in my prayers and I am constantly inspired by you. <3 Give my love to everyone!
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Kim & Jeremy Cover
2/13/2016 07:33:00 pm
We so miss you and your family!!! I LOVE the braid Tender did!!! A BIG Happy Birthday to Hurricane!!! Lucius is super cute and the "hulk" is such a big boy!!! Love you ALL!!!!
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Christy
2/16/2016 12:05:00 am
I can't believe how big Hulk is getting. Grief is so hard, yet nothing has been a bigger learning experience, or drawn me closer to the Lord.
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